TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Randomize
