My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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