The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
