I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Who died my cat blue again?
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
