And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize