Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
either way he was missing a nipple.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Randomize
