I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
