it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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