Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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