Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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