Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
