I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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