I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize