can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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