What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
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