He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
