I looked at my own cervix.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
