Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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