Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Randomize