quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Randomize
