Ambien. No doubt about it.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize