no, he came in my armpit
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Randomize
