I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize