I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
