Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
