Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
