I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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