Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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