the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
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