Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Randomize
