If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
