I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
