Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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