so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Randomize