Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
