my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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