i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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