oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
