Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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