i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize