It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
