Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
