Sry I called you an 8
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Randomize
