Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
