Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
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