The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
