I must be too annoying 4 u.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
