I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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