Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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