you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
