I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
