also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
It's never too late to be topless.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize