Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
