dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Randomize
