is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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