She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Randomize
