I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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