Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Randomize
