I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Randomize
