So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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